Wednesday, June 12, 2013

BLURBAGE- please tell me what you think


In the summer of 2014, Petra Baron, a senior at Arroyo Oaks High School, enters a fortune-teller’s tent at a Renaissance faire and exits into Elizabethan England, a time steeped in legend and on the verge of religious revolution.

In the summer of 1414 Emory Ravenswood dies in a fire that destroyed his entire village.

Despite gypsy hunts, demon dogs, and an interfering friar, Emory and Petra meet and fall in love in the year 1614, because as Petra later discovers, the correct translation of happily ever after is 200 years and anything is possible beyond the fortune teller’s tent.

Note (not part of the blurb)

The King James bible was first published in 1610 and was met with out all sorts of resistance and outrage as there were many who believed that lay men  needed mediators (priests) to access holy writ. When I first wrote this story in 2009 my dates "worked"--not so much in 2013, but since it's a story and not a historical account of true events I'm hoping no one will care.

Another crack at the blurb:


In the summer of 2010, Petra Baron, a senior at Arroyo Oaks High School, enters a fortune-teller’s tent at a Renaissance faire and exits into Elizabethan England. Despite her ambivalence towards her father’s recent remarriage, Petra is desperate to return to her life in Orange County, California. The seventeenth century presents all sorts of challenges -- a gypsy hunt, a demon dog named Black Shuck, and an overwhelming attraction to Emory Ravenswood.


When Petra returns to the here and now, she’s reunited with her newly created stepfamily emotionally as well as physically because of the lessons of love and loss learned in the Golden Age. But she’s lost Emory. Or has she? Petra soon discovers the correct translation of happily ever after is 200 years and anything is possible beyond the fortune teller’s tent.

And then there's this one suggested to me by a helpful writer:

Last thing Petra Baron expected when she walked into a fortune teller's tent was a trip through time. But that's exactly what happens to the bookish high school student. Stranded in Elizabethan England, she encounters a kindred spirit in Emory Ravenswood who helps her deal with a gypsy hunt,a demon dog, and an interfering friar. But as she slowly falls in love with Emory, she wonders is he really who he seems, or is he just as lost? How can they have a future when trapped in the past? Is anything possible beyond the fortune teller's tent?




1 comment:

  1. I like a mixture of the 2nd version and the one suggested by a your friend. I'd leave off the name of the demon dog, isn't needed.

    Maybe: In the summer of 2010, Petra Baron, a senior at ..., enters a fortune-teller's tent...and exits into (put the year she enters here). Stranded in Elizabethan England, she encounter she's desperate to return to her life in Orange County, CA even if it means putting up with her dad's new marriage. But then she meets Emory Ravenswood who becomes a part of her new life as they deal with a gypsy hunt (what exactly is this?), demon dog and interfering friar.

    Then add your second para: When Petra returns...

    Sounds like an interesting story.

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